Gavin de Becker in the book The Gift of Fear: Survival signs that protect us from
violence, said "Most men fear getting laughed at or humiliated by a romantic
prospect while most women fear rape and death". According to United Nation definition of sexual violence, it encompasses among others
"Physical, sexual and psychological violence occurring within the general community, including rape, sexual abuse, sexual harassment and intimidation at work, in educational institutions and elsewhere, trafficking in women and forced prostitution"
With the high incidence of gender
based sexual violence, especially in rape cases and death, or maiming of the victim thereafter; the
proclamation of June 19th as the International day of elimination of sexual violence , is very pertinent.
The increasing campaigns against rape such as #WeAreTired , and its declaration as Rape Epidemic in Nigeria by the Governors of the thirty six States of Nigeria are commendable reactions that should be acted upon swiftly and decisively. It is noteworthy of mention that the Governor's forum also called for a state of
emergency over rape and gender violence
The
issue of victim blaming must be removed from our culture given that there is no excuse for rape rather men should have Male Etiquette and play their roles in preventing sexual violence. The stigmatization of rape victims must be fought with solidarity mantra like Stop This Rape Shaming, while the trivialization be halted by meting stiffer punishment to perpetrators and ensuring that justice for victims is never denied. Furthermore, we must fight rape culture, and Say NO To Rape rationalization fuelled by rape culture and marginalization of women.
PROVEN TIPS TO PREVENT RAPE
OUTDOOR
- Stay alert and aware of your environment, neighbours and events
- Always inform others of your whereabouts
- Try not to be alone in secluded alleys, building, park and poorly lit places
- Take a self defense course
- Scream, fight, bite, scratch and do all you can to call attention if in danger of being a victim
- Do not use earphones or headset to enable you hear strange noises or footsteps
- Do not reveal check-in or your location and private information on social media
- Change routes and be unpredictable with your time out, hang out and return time
- Do not accept rides or hitch hike from strangers
WHEN ON A DATE
- Avoid uninhibited manners like reckless drinking of alcohol, obscene talks, jesting and seductive gestures
- Be modest and decent in your appearance though it does not guarantee safety
- Do not drink opened beverage or leave it when visiting the ladies hence the need to be aware of date rape drugs such as Gamma Hydroxybutyrate Acid, Rohypnol and Ketamine
- Establish boundaries when dating and know when there are threats to your boundaries
- Act wisely and leave with a safe person if you sense danger
- Never date in isolated ambience, it is better to date in company of others
WHEN HOME
- Keep the doors and windows locked
- Do not open to strangers or repair men without an appointment
- Whenever you move house, change the locks and keys to new ones
- Do not give the impression of being "Home Alone"
- Report any hints of sexual assaults at the onset even when being threatened
- Dress decently even when indoors
